a couple weeks ago we were camping
and this dude brought his five year
old girl along on the trip where
everyone, including him, was planning
on being drunk and stoned all weekend
and he proceeded to get drunk and
high in front of her the entire time

but this story is not about he's an
asshole, it's about how i'm an asshole

i was cooking hashbrowns and eggs and
bacon for breakfast and put a box of
brown eggs on the picnic table bench

his daughter who had apparently never
seen brown eggs before came up

Q. those are silly eggs!
A. WHAT? why?
Q. are they chocolate!?
A. yeah, yeah, you should try one
(Q. picks up an egg and the fact it
it feels exactly like a none chocolate
egg makes her suspicious)
Q. ...are you sure???
A. yeah, they're delicious, but they're
tought to chew so make sure
to bite into it really hard
(Q. is about to take a bite of the raw
egg when her dad comes by)
Q. daddy, you should try a bite of this
chocolate egg
J. what? that's not a chocolate egg, put it back

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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