in grade one i was friends with this

huge (for a six year old) russian jew called andre

the biggest kid in our grade

his english wasn't too good

obviously his nickname was andre the giant

like the wrestler

he was a strange kid, and i think some of the kids were afraid of him

one day he asked me if i was his best friend

sure, i said

then he asked if i loved him more than donald, my other best friend

and i said yeah, ok

then he asked if i loved him more than anyone else in the school

yeah, i said, i do

he went through a list of kids

and i said yeah more than all of them

then he asked me if i loved him more than my family

i told him no

and he stepped close

within and inch of my faces and held my arms

and asked again if i loved him more than my family

i decided to lie, because i didn't want to fight him and i figured it didn't matter as long as my family knew i loved them more

yeah, i said

more than your dad?

ok, sure

more than your mom?

yeah, fine

then he asked if i loved him more than i loved god

and i was six and had this image of god as

this old dude sitting up in the sky

with a beard who could get angry and

send you to hell pretty easy

so i decided not to lie to him about

that

and i said no

he started to choke me

he asked again and i still said no

so he kept choking me

looking into my eyes

i was starting to see spots

and was about to pass out

then he let go

and walked away

a couple days later we were standing beside each other at the urinals, peeing

he looked into mine and said

you have the yellowest pee, you are the luckiest boy in the world!

i don't know what the hell was wrong with him

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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