there's a horrible feeling

when nothing seems to matter

and you can't feel anything

or care about anything or

desire anything or experience

things like joy or pleasure


there's a horrible feeling

when every single molecule

in your body aches and screams

and wants to stop existing

and your mind finds everything

and nothing excruciatingly and

unbearably painful and ugly

and like a violent assault

and your soul prays for escape

and all that you want is for it

to end

and you'd kill to only feel as bad as first horrible feeling

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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