turning twenty-three feels like sitting on the couch

listening to this man teaching this little little boy to call black people niggers

and to imitate them by acting like a monkey

and not saying shit 'cause that man is your girlfriend's father

and it's the first time you've met him

and you don't want to start a fight

but at the same time you hate yourself for not saying anything and not starting a fight

cause it is a time to say something if there ever was

and you know you'll hate yourself for staying quiet for years

you have betrayed many people with your own tolerance of that ugliness

and that's fucked up

and right now things are fucked up

it's been 23 years and i don't know if there's anything i've done

that i could mention and say

why are things fucked up look what i've done

i've done nothing extraordinary to help anything

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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