it could be he's killing himself

by drowning by hanging

it doesn't matter

you're betraying him

either way

it's our ugliness that gives us hope

as we die

as our children are born deformed we

think at least they're not quite

the same as us

1.this one girl says

'i don't know why he always looks like that

so angry

or maybe sad'

i say 'i think it's sad'

she says 'yeah, but why?'

i say 'maybe it's 'cause he's sad'

2.a couple days later

this one woman says

'why can't people just smile? like what is wrong with that guy that he won't smile?'

i say 'maybe it's 'cause he's sad

maybe his life is miserable, or his child just died, or his wife who he truly loves has cancer'

'yeah', she says, 'well he probably can't tell me any kind of sad story i haven't already heard'

'probably not' i say, 'what difference does that make'

3.a long time ago

this one man says

'hey why can't you be more like her? that girl is always smiling

i like that'

'it's 'cause of the fetal alcohol syndrome' i say 'that's why she smiles

it's the same reason she has trouble with any kind of abstract thought

and simple math

it's why her hands are so tiny'

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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