some good things might seem small and kind of unimportant now, like

going for all you can eat sushi with a good friend

or someone handing you a can of gingerale when your stomach is aching and you're dehydrated from a hangover

or laughing playing drunken clue at 4:30 in the morning after raiding the fridge and making ridiculous sandwiches with everything you can find

or winning eighty bucks at the casino:

forty at blackjack and forty at roulette

or getting the highest score at bowling and all kinds of strikes with a magic green ball

or this genius wonderful gorgeous girl turning back and holding her hand out for you to hold for a few seconds after you've just seen this movie of a nina simone concert where she sings so beautiful and plays piano so beautiful and acts so crazy so beautiful that it breaks your heart and fills it with joy

for a little while, but it's just light on a screen

things like that can happen on pretty ordinary kind of days

and seem hardly like things you'd remember

but i can picture myself being forty-seven

fat and pale and bald and alone and so lonely and empty and heartbroken

sitting in a bathtub in the dark

thinking they were pretty important and magical

as the water gets cold

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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