tomorrow i leave for two weeks

so i think my diary should be

updated by you,

(yes, you personally)

every single day while i'm gone

it's public so update here, trick

people who write for me get a crappy present from japan

if i don't run out of presents

here are subject/style guidelines

day 1:

write a vague one sentence entry that really doesn't mean anything and title it something completely unrelated

day 2:

be suddenly inspired. write something beautiful and amazing that is somehow slightly beyond your complete understanding. decide it's crap later.

day 3:

quote a song. not what you're listening to at that moment. what was in your head when you woke up. use quotation marks, or use capitalization, or mention the band in the title. those are exclusive ors.

day 4:

write about your incompetence/failure at something. relate the microcosm to the macrocosm. mention that the something is important.

day 5:

write the words that have been driving you insane all day that you have no idea how they showed up in your head. they should be about nature. tack on something a picture you saw made you think and try to relate it somehow. maybe throw in some song lyrics that you misheard the first time the way you misheard them.

day 6:

list a few things that make you happy. if there are any

day 7:

have an adventure. of some sorts. or talk about boring stuff you did like it matters. the entry should involve any of: drinking








failure, women, embarassment, beauty, ugliness, strange human beings

if you're feeling daring take two or three different stories that somehow magically link together, but don't mention how. write very plainly. write about yourself as a wreck and an outcast. try to imitate bukowski and fail miserably.

day 8:

talk about sex or the lack of it. masturbation. ugly sexual thoughts. good sexual thoughts. ambiguity between the holiness/profaneness of it. guilt/joy. and so on. don't mention anyone specifically. maybe don't even mention sex explicitly. but be shameless.

day 9:

write about death and hopelessness. black humour should be involved. but death and hopelessness are just there, not bad. use stupid metaphors. try to be very visual.

day 10:

one sentence. only you will ever know what it really means.

day 11:

write about a concert you went to. it was great. always. don't really say why. use too many adjective. probably swear, too.

day 12:

talk about loneliness, holiness, souls, struggling and the moon. mention part of a conversation or an occurence that only one other person would recognize. not necessarily anyone who will ever read it.

day 13:

write about the awfulness of other people. reasons for it are: dullness, stupidity, mediocrity, failure, lives spent watching tv and working at pointless jobs, and so on. blame capitalism and consumerism if you get a chance. imply or straight up mention that things don't look any better for you. in fact, you're probably the worst human yet. (maybe offer a little hope.)

day 14:

write about something that happened a long time ago that you were thinking of today for no reason. it should be sort of pathetic that you still remember it. preferably about a girl. try to rhyme. at least a rhyming couplet at the end. if only for the sake of making it completely stupid and ridiculous

in general talk about nature a lot and love a lot and lost love a lot and death way too much and drinking a lot and music a lot and disappointment with everything and maybe bring in some of the other little things i seem to be obsessed with here and there

punctuation and capitalization is bad

if you can't write as well as me, don't worry we can't all be brilliant geniuses

if you write better than me then i hate you

really, write how/about whatever you want

i'm full of shit and pretty stupid and ugly and petty and childlike and very vague

is the main thing to remember

when trying to keep in the style of my diary

please do write something, though


Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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