and now i'm very old

my stomach ached and i shaked

all day white green under my eyes

last night i was watching that movie

that we've all seen, hoping my next beer

would make me pass out and it was that scene

in the movie where the son says, "i've had a rough

year, dad" and the dad puts his hand on the son's shoulder

and says, "i know you have, son" and i thought that that would

that conversation would have been enough to make things seem, at

least, seem, a lot better right then if it would have been possible at all

i have the greatest most generous friends though who also are all beautiful

also, you're a fucking piece of shit and cowardly and ugly and don't blame me or call me crazy if you're too fucking stupid to understand what i'm saying

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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