i thought i felt your shape but i was wrong

really all i felt was falsely strong

i held on tight and closed my eyes

it was dumb i had no sense of your size

it was dumb to hold so tight

but oh last night

on your birthday, in that kitchen

my grip was loose my eyes were open

i felt your shape and heard you breathing

i felt the rise and fall of your chest

i felt your fall

your winter snows

your gusty blow, your lava flow

i felt it all, your starry night

your lack of light

with limp arms i can feel most of you

i hung around your neck independently

and my loss was overwhelmed by this new depth i don't think i've ever felt

but i don't know, my nights are cold

i remember warmth

i could have sworn i wasn't alone.

Moi, j'avais jamais rien dit. Rien

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